IAlwaysSayProbly

Have you ever thought of when exactly you are going to be leaving this world? how is it going to happen? will people mourn you or not? i have often thought about this lately i don’t really know why but i always fell like maybe i shouldn’t be here any more. like i have already done what i have been put on this earth to do. lately i have felt numb and very awkward with myself and in my own body. aren’t you supposed to go through this when your going into your teens? i mean i just turned 21! could i be having a mid life crisis so soon? idk maybe being at work alone for 8 hours is making me think about stupid things. 

well i was surprised this weekend by my sister with tickets to go see two of my favorite bands Dave Matthew’s band and Jason Mraz. Now if you know me you know that i’m the type of person that keeps my emotion sin and tries my best to hide them. so when she hid them in the book she gave, which was also by jason mraz, i started to cry. yeah i know very GAY but i was surprised! what can i say! i was not expecting that at all. just like i was not expecting my family to be trowing me a going away party this weekend. i mean i just wasn’t thinking about doing anything mostly because money is always an issue and i was just expecting to meet up with some friends somewhere and just say goodbye to them that way. but of course my sister couldn’t hold it in anymore and just had to tell me. i didn’t know what to think. i mean i was not expecting that at all. but i want to thank them for everything, even thought i sometimes feel like i don’t deserve anything, thank you for being your crazy self’s.